So, you ever have unwanted thoughts and shake that shit off to never think it again? Congratulations, we all have done it before. But there are some that just linger and gain power in the process. These intrusive thoughts enter our mind stream and have the nerve to occupy space. If I could charge rent to these little critters, I’d be a millionaire and an insane-aire.
Our ability to shake off some of these unwanted thoughts allow us to keep our sanity. I don’t know what it is about the ones that stick and come back versus the ones I shake off with expertise, but the ones that win in the moment obtain a power. Even if that moment is split second, it’s jolted and knows that it’s on to something.
Unwanted Thoughts On Returning:
I grabbed a hold of one these unwanted thoughts as it was kind enough to answer a few questions.
Me: Thanks for taking the time to sit with me.
Unwanted thought: Please, call me Roger.
Me: Very well then. Roger, what gives you the mother fucking audacity to return to a place where you are unwanted?
Roger: Oh that’s easy. See, us unwanted thoughts mosey along unnoticed on the regular. As soon as we get some attention, we latch on. We reciprocate that love.
Me: Love ay, that’s an interesting concept. Considering the unwanted thoughts we are sometimes unable to shake, come off as the most disturbing. You consider that an invitation of love?
Roger: What else would you call it?
Me: A sicko show from the tales of heebygeebies.
Roger: No, you’ve got it all wrong. Take me for example ‘Really Old Guy Evokes Rage’. You’re not mad at this stranger that happens to be old and holding up the line. I am random as shit, all of us thoughts are. We have this toy, where we spin upwards to 20 different word wheels. Rear naked choke came up and you accepted. It doesn’t mean you want to react on it, but I caught your attention and felt love for a second.
Me: See, there you go again, bringing it back up Roger. You didn’t have to mention the rear naked choke – you did it anyways though. That’s not me, I wouldn’t do that.
Roger: Hey man, relax, it’s just a game us thoughts play. We constantly bounce around, and the ones that keep bouncing without a glance disappear. I stuck and I appreciate that, so thanks. If it were Halle Berry holding up the line, you would’ve cut me off at rear naked – –
Me: Roger that.
Unwanted Thoughts On Neglect:
Roger: Hello, hello?
Me: Roger, is that you, what are you doing at such a random moment?
Roger: Were we done with the interview? I’ve been trying to get your attention but you were letting all these other randoms in instead.
Me: So you decided to show up unannounced, while walking my dog is the best time?
Roger: Unannounced sure, but you chose the time to accept. Don’t just blame this on me, I didn’t ask to be neglected during other moments.
Me: Oh, maybe you’re right Roger.
Roger: Don’t sweat it, but you can call me Der now.
Me: Der?
Der: Yeah, like ‘Dog Evokes Rage’.
Me: Oh now I want to rear naked choke dogs now?
Der: No, absolutely not. During neglect I have evolved. It’s either that or fade. We had such an enlightened conversation earlier, the unwanted thoughts have kinda circled around MMA moves. It’s cool, nothing to worry about. The dog is near, we’re conversing again, so the dog gets the randomness. Don’t sweat it, you love this little guy. Isn’t he the cutest, sexiest little thing?
Me: Whatever Der.
Der: Alright, see what you did there? I threw out sexy as a title for your dog and it disappeared. You gave it no love.
Me: Because it’s ridiculous.
Der: And so is the rear naked choke.
Me: You’re right, you’re so absolutely right. Der, you still there?
Der: Fading bro, the neglect really hurts – –
Me: Moving on.
Who’d Have Thunk It:
Der: Hey, look who came back around. You had me going for a while.
Me: Der, Is that you?
Der: Sure is, what brings you back here?
Me: Watching TV and the sports analyst mentioned a rare naked choke. Got me thinking about that time, when – you know.
Der: Heck yeah I know, I remember the really old guy, the dog, and the sn-sna-snake.
Me: The snake? Dang-it Der, why did you remind me of the snake? Those were all so long ago, I thought I had let those go. I suppose you’d like me to call you Ser now?
Der: Ha, close one, but nope. Ser is snake evoking rage, and you kind sir are just afraid of the sn-sna-snake. So you can just call me Snake.
Me: I am not calling you Snake. In fact, this interview is over, so you can just leave.
Snake: Well…
Me: I said you can leave, and I’m not calling you Snake. If I do that, then I’ll just be thinking about snakes and more snakes as a result. No snake, I mean roger, I mean Der, I mean – Ugh!
Snake: Yikes, you’re getting all itchy and stuff. Do you mind me asking why? Never mind, I can tell why now as you’re hopping on top of furniture as if snakes are actually chasing.
Me: Ah!
Snake: Well, I’m just going to go ahead and pull up a seat. Looks like you and I are going to be roommates for a while. To think, you neglected me and I disappeared, now you obsess and I move in. Howdy roomy, we got any popcorn for the popping?
Unwanted Thoughts On Unwanted Thoughts:
Me: Whew, well that got a little out of hand didn’t it?
Unwanted Thoughts: Yeah!
Me: Whoa, not all at once. Let’s keep it smooth here. So, just wanted to interview you guys while I’m working on recovery. How are y’all doing?
…
Me: Hmmm, wonder if there’s some technical difficulties, can barely hear them.
Just a parody on what I think it would be like to interview some of the unwanted thoughts we have.
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Let me know if you found this helpful. I am curious to hear your spin. Leave a comment or find me on Twitter @UghOCD or Instagram @brentleybigkid.
