I’m not one to give advice on how someone should go about facing fear, but I am finding the notion very important to me. As someone who suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, facing fear is the best way to recovery. As well as the most difficult part. Although I can’t provide advice on the how, I can say that I am trying.
I can also say that my thoughts of fear have changed. I would originally lump fear, as an entity, as a bad thing. Being so famously known for getting in the way of our biggest goals, I now would like to think of it as tool. A hurdle needing hurdled – An obstacle for the conquering. This thinking both scares the piss out of me and deserves some of the biggest credit towards my personal growth.
Facing Fear – Personal Growth:
Like most, personal growth has always been important to me, but I allowed fear to halt that progress. Fear of failure, embarrassment, getting hurt, and even success. If you’re anything like me, fear of success seems to be an odd reason to stay content. I think it really narrows down to fear of change.
If you’re anything like me again, or like anyone for that matter, change doesn’t seem to come naturally. Change is scary, as well as a huge player in our personal growth. In order to develop, growth requires many factors to change. As a result, it requires facing a few fears more frequently.
So doesn’t that make personal growth proof that we are facing fear? Doesn’t it also prove that facing fear is important for personal growth? Yet that’s not on the forefront of our minds when dealing with fear. All of the negatives drown out the benefits. When face to face with fear, normally we contemplate failure, embarrassment, or pain. Even if the success part crosses our mind, we tend to at least give breath to the thought of “how does that impact the good”?
Focusing on personal growth doesn’t really change this process either. For me, those things still play out when confronted by fear. But as a result of trying, new thinking follows – progress is success, and success is progress.
Facing Fear – Seeking Success:
A few days before graduating college, a professor of mine asked me “What now?”. My answer played out something like this – “Get a job, and work hard to be successful”. In his follow up he asked “What’s success?”. I don’t remember my reply, but I know it had something to do with amounts of money. I mean, that’s why I attended college, to better my chances of making good money.
A few days shy from graduating a school that I attended for 4 plus years, studying engineering. I was ready to seek a version of success that wasn’t my own version. He went on to advise that success is based on what you seek and it’s not just the result. “Do you agree?” My reply then was short and no reasoning followed, “No”. That’s all I said.
I do remember that I walked away not believing the “No” answer I provided. To be honest, my answer to his “What now” could’ve been “I don’t know”.
I do find that “what now” does help me in my true version of seeking success. I know what I want, and it does include failure, embarrassment, and getting hurt. All fears that we must face in order to continue seeking the success we work so hard for.
Proof that we are facing fear, and proof that facing fear is important to our success.
Facing Fear – Creating Goals:
Why do we create goals? Creating a goal either gives us the opportunity to reach it or quit on it. Reaching a goal is key to both personal growth and seeking success. That makes creating them proof of facing fear. Any good enough goal that we set for ourselves requires that scary change.
Think about some of your biggest goals. For example, let’s use a common goal – Losing weight. In order to meet this goal it requires at least one of these two things – workout and eat better. Either one, let alone both of these, require tremendous effort. You now run the risk of facing fear.
The effort requires a change in the amount of time you put focus on this goal. How will that impact you? It can impact work time, family time, you-time, playtime, sleep time, and more. You run the risk of failure, embarrassment, and getting hurt. Which in turn we fear that the time has now become wasted. Facing fear is apart of chasing goals.
I currently have a goal to face fear more often. Which is part of a bigger goal of mine to recover from OCD. My OCD feeds on my fears, therefore if I can change how I look at fear, recovery becomes a realistic option. As a result, chasing this huge goal of mine, I have faced failure, embarrassment, pain, and success. It comes with it – And I know it’s worth it.
Scary Difficult and Scary Important:
So is fear all bad? I think we become bias because the scary is so much louder. Just because something is difficult doesn’t make it bad. We make goals that are scary. A goal is seeking a change, change is scary, which makes success frightening too. It’s all important.
Initially, we need that fear – It reminds what is important to us. I don’t think we are better off not having fear, I honestly think we are better off facing fear.
Here is a quote I’ve read recently that seems to stick. Maybe it can help: “Sometimes the fear won’t go away, so you’ll have to do it afraid”.
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Let me know if you found this helpful. I am curious to hear your spin. Leave a comment or find me on Twitter @UghOCD or Instagram @brentleybigkid.
