Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff - But What Is Small Stuff To OCD?

‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’, pssh… What’s small stuff? There’s a book suggesting it’s all small stuff. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is creative and a clever one. With the ability to blow up any sitch to a bad sitch. That alarm in our head that is there to protect us is a sensitive one. One poke and it’s blaring what-ifs left and right, up and down, from all angles. We are supposed to listen to that alarm, so we do… small sitch or not.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff:

I get it, we all get it, but isn’t this statement a bit subjective to a degree? What might be small for you might not be small for that person. If something seems small to that person, might not seem small to you. It’s a statement that must eventually come from self. After evaluating what is small, big, large, or completely and utterly preposterous.

Everything can’t be weighed the same… right?

For sanity purposes someone please tell OCD that. OCD will make a consequence out of anything. Reading a book – death, walking inside a building – death, The television volume on the wrong number – death. Shit… the mere mentioning of ‘death’ is death to OCD.

Someone please tell OCD ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’. What is considered small to this mental monster? It blows everything up out of proportion. Just typing ‘blows everything up’ triggers my OCD into searching for a bomb.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff Back Then:

Around 2005, when my OCD was probably at it’s worst, I couldn’t have typed or said the previous section. Words either typed, thought, or verbally spoken like ‘death’ would throw me into a compulsive fit. Forget what I had planned for the rest of the day, I had to spend the next hours undoing. And I still wouldn’t have been at ease.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s not small stuff mentioning ‘blows everything up’, even when speaking in terms of proportionately. The OCDoer’s mind would set off multiple alarms for the bomb. I would all of the sudden worry about someone out there starting a car and ‘BOOM’! Or walking into the workplace and being hit with ‘Kapow’!

Don’t sweat the small stuff – well what the fuck is small stuff when OCD turns any stuff into bomb stuff?

Damn It Man, Now I’m Crying:

I remember the hold that this thing had on me. It still does a bit, even with as well of a recovery process I’ve had, I remember the dark. I felt like I couldn’t go anywhere, like I could not do anything, because of the hold OCD had. Don’t sweat the small stuff OCD, please don’t sweat the small stuff, please.

I would’ve begged for it to listen to me. Instead, I was the only one listening and it’s voice sounded so caring back then. A caring tone that whispered over all of the other noise. It convinced me that all other noise was just noise and it’s just looking our for me, for us.

Now it’s tone is a condescending tone. As if it wants to gain control whether I’m on to it’s game or not. I know how it treated me – it seeks denial, negativity, and shit vibes. Good vibes only here homie, good vibes only.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff… Right:

Alright… where were we, ah yes… small stuff versus bomb stuff.

What OCD doesn’t tell us is that bomb stuff is really bomb stuff, and not everything is the biggity bomb. We think that way in the moment – that our compulsions are the diffusers. We rack our brains searching for red, green, and black wires to disconnect and get some relief.

But wait a moment OCD, here I shout to you ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’. When maybe I should pull your card and tell you ‘don’t sweat the small bomb stuff’.

Alright, so maybe the small stuff is a bomb just like OCD says, but it could be a small bomb. Maybe when it blows, it goes ‘pfft’ instead of ‘BOOM’. Or… maybe when it goes off, it’s so small that it moves nothing.